i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize