Please, let me fuck your mom
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize