i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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