Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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