just tell him i said nine months
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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