People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
