That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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