you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
