you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
