# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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