I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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