Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
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