Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
