wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
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