i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I'm eating all of the evidence.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
