I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
