After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Randomize
