Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize