Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
