we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
