he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
