thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
