I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
