Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
