Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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