Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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