I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
