So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
pop tarts are not kleenex
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Randomize
