ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
