I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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