I feel like abortions should bother me more
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
