i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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