READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Randomize
