Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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