Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
