the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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