Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Randomize
