I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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