I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
