The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I want to have your abortion
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
