thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Randomize
