This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
