Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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