My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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