garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
are you so shy because you have an std?
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
