Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
How does it feel to date your dad?
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
