did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
True strength comes from lack of pants
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
