somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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