ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
