drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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