The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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