I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Randomize
