he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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