my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
