i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Randomize
