It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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