On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
