This girl is more easily done than said...
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
