Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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