just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
you traded sex for a burrito?
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
